MEDIATION vs. MYTH It is a myth that human conflicts are best resolved by lawyers, courts, and war. It is a fact that human conflicts are best resolved by Mediation. Mediation creates a space for those in conflict to meet and resolve their disputes. The Mediator, as a neutral and wise person, listens without judgment, assists the disputants in breaking impasse, and makes suggestions on how resolution can be achieved; thus, allowing people an opportunity to self-determine their own solutions. Adryenn Cantor, as both lawyer and mediator, has devoted over two-decades of her career to creating a mediation paradigm that works. After acting as the neutral in thousands of mediated cases she is convinced that Mediation not only works better than litigation, but that it totally dispels the myth that those in conflict must battle it out. In her experience if people are given an opportunity to speak their minds, to be listened to with respect, and are shown workable solutions to their problems – resolution is not only possible but probable. Living in today's world means that at certain times there will be conflict, this is inevitable. How we handle conflict, this is a choice. If you are in conflict or want to avoid conflict with your family, business associates, or total strangers, Mediation can help you choose wisely. You do not have to resolve life's problems alone; Adryenn Cantor has the knowledge, experience, and caring to transform your conflicts or potential conflicts into workable solutions. WHEN MEDIATION CAN HELP Before Conflicts Begin: We have all heard of premarital or prenuptial agreements where people decide to contract prior to their marriage about how they will hold their property, etc. after marriage. Following this well established principle, people can and should mediate prior to entering into any type of relationship where two or more people have unspoken expectations about what will happen when they get together in their personal or professional life, whether it's starting a business partnership or moving into the same house. It just makes sense to talk to each other prior to entering into a life-altering event instead of just going forward with no plan and no idea of what to expect. Sitting down for a few hours to talk with each other about your expectations and to work out a plan of action will establish a basis for an enduring and successful relationship being one that is founded on open and thoughtful discussion. Also, using this model will be of invaluable assistance in resolving future conflicts as they arise. During Times of Conflicts: In any situation where conflict takes precedence over getting your work done or having an enjoyable relationship, mediation is needed. If you dread going to work as either the boss or the employee because you know the ongoing conflicts at your workplace will keep you from doing your job, mediation should be used to clear the air and establish a new work environment. If family members in a family business do not know how to communicate with each other or cannot delegate the jobs to be done, all the parties should meet with a mediator to learn how to work together, both as family and business partners. If your living situation is untenable because your roommate, lover, or family members do not get along, mediation can assist in delineating the issues and then resolving them in a manner that meets everyone's needs. Those of us in the "sandwich" generation know what it is like to be responsible for both our children and our aging parents. We are not equipped to make life-altering decisions, such as whether Mom or Dad should be placed in a nursing home, alone. But with the aid of Mediation the entire family can be involved in these decisions. Rather than waiting until you are fired or quit your job or no longer speak to certain family members or are forced to leave your home – try mediation. During these times of conflict learn how to express your position, listen to others express theirs, and then work together to resolve your conflicts in a respectful and mindful manner. When Conflicts Lead to the Termination of a Relationship: Any relationship that can be terminated can be mediated. If your marriage is over, mediation is one of the best ways to complete that relationship. In my experience, divorcing parties are more likely to honor their divorce orders because they, not a judge, will have made their own agreements. I have often wondered why anyone would let a stranger, even one wearing a black robe, decide when they will see their children or how much of their income will be given to their former spouse for child support or alimony or who gets what percentage of their marital estate. It is clear that the divorcing couple knows the most about their lives; therefore, mediation will assist them in getting through this legal labyrinth in less time and with less expense than litigation. If your business partnership must be terminated, mediation can be used to help the partners end their business relationship while preserving their friendship. When a same-sex relationship ends, the parties are not protected by their state's divorce laws even though their issues are the same as though they were married. Mediation can be used in these situations to divide personal property or real estate or to decide on a parenting plan or set support.